I have that saying plastered all over my life. On my desk at work, on my wall at home, and soon on my arm in the form of a tattoo.
In the past few months, in the time I've completely forgotten that this blog existed, a lot has changed in my life and it's all been for the better. At the beginning of October I fulfilled a very big dream of mine and moved downtown into the Artist's Lofts building off of Locust.
Being here has been one of the best decisions I've made for myself. I've always been a city girl. I love being able to walk out the door and experience life right in my neighborhood. Being around all the action of city life really inspires me and motivates me with my photography business. Being a part of a community of artists is an added bonus as well. I've really enjoyed taking the spare moments, which are rare right now, to just walk around my neighborhood and enjoy life, whether that's spending the morning at the finish line cheering on strangers after they run a half marathon, or pulling up to the bar at Bailey's Range and sipping on some Strawberry Boozy Lemonade while taking in all the people around me. I thrive in places like these. For me, feeling lonely is not an option or a place I want to be, so I take into my own hands my ability to just enjoy life for what it is each day.
One of my last posts on this blog was about the weekend visit by Nik and Rob during my birthday and it's been so long since I've posted that she's come to visit again and headed back to Pennsylvania today.
I had mentioned in passing how I wanted to see her again and so I suggested, semi-not serious, that she should come to St. Louis and help me second shoot a wedding. Next thing I know, the ticket is booked and she's heading back my way. Cue the excitement.
Having her here was so needed in so many ways. Don't get me wrong, I can rock the flying solo thing like no other, but like any normal human being we all crave company at times. Sometimes it's just nice to share the day to day with another human being. Other than the excitement of shooting a wedding we did pretty average things but it was very meaningful to me to have her here with me. She accompanied me to the courthouse (multiple times) so I could file my divorce paperwork and just the simplicity of her tagging along made the anxiety of that whole experience far lower than it would have been had I done it alone.
We did share some damn good meals together though, and I feel that's always one of the best ways to show someone the STL. Chai and waffles at Melt, tacos and guacamole at Mission Taco, Burgers and Boozy lemonades at Baileys Range (ok it's kind of my favorite), yellow curry from Sen Thai, and a late night run to Imo's for some veggie pizza. 
I think the biggest benefit of the whole weekend of having her here was the quality time we had together just having heart to heart moments. The circumstances in which we became friends are kind of rare, meeting on an online photo board ya know, and so sometimes it does seem surreal when I get to have her encouraging me in my own living room. Like my brain sometimes can't wrap itself around the awesomeness of it all. Something about this chick, we just connect on a really deep level that I really feel lucky to have. It's a rare thing these days to have people who encourage you, push you and tell you they believe in you and really truly mean it.
Nikki is a tell it like it is, no holds barred type of gal and that is a gift. I need people in my life who push me to believe in myself and won't allow me to make excuses for myself. I think more than anything after this weekend she's really just encouraged me and convinced me that if I want happiness in my life I have to take matters into my own hands. I'm not here to perform for anyone else. If there's something in life that I want, I have to take the steps to get there. My happiness is my own responsibility. Seeing my dreams come to fruition, that's in my hands.
These things don't just apply to my photography business, but to my personal life in such a significant way. I've spent so much of my life keeping up appearances for other people, worrying too much about how other people perceive me, being afraid of disappointing people and it's turned into such wasted energy. I don't want to get burnt out on exhausting my efforts for the sake of what everyone else "thinks" of me.
So here's to my happiness. Here's to a life full of being fulfilled. Here's to making the simple things beautiful.
Nik, you're the shit. Thanks for being the shit. And here's to many more years of booty shaking, beer drinking, photo loving friendship.
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