twenty ninth and thirtieth.

I was looking at my calendar today and only a month in and I feel like I've already done so much this year. I really feel like I'm heading down a good road and I cannot wait to see where the year continues to take me. I have a lot of exciting things coming up in the next few months, from out of town friend's coming to visit, to a busy busy spring with Vintage Suitcase Photography.

February will go by in the blink of an eye and soon spring will be here. I absolutely love spring. We got a taste of it here yesterday with near 70 degree temps and I was in heaven. Windows down in the car, music up, and feeling inspired. I don't know what it is with that change in temperature that does something so good for my body. It's almost like a motivation drug. It just gets me all pumped up and ready to take on the world.

The taste of spring didn't last for long because well, let's get real, this is St. Louis, the same city where you could turn your heat and a/c on within a 24 hour period. And sure enough, today the temperature crashed and by the afternoon, it was chilly and windy as all get out and there were snow flurries in the air. I'll be honest, it made me sad when I woke up this morning. But then I turned on my Springtime Jam station on Pandora and got my head back in the right place.

So, with spring coming and bringing new things, I thought I'd introduce something new that I'll be doing. It kind of happened overnight, or in 12 hours actually, but I'm really excited about it. I've been debating for the past few weeks whether or not to open an Etsy store. I have a variety of creative things to offer, from paintings to prints of my own pictures, but something about that kind of stressed me out. I feel like I would get overwhelmed with potential orders and getting things in the mail and I would completely fail. Sometimes you just have to be honest with yourself, right? But I still had it floating in the back of my mind, and maybe someday I'll have the time to do that, but right now with working full time and staying on top of things otherwise, it just wasn't feasible.

And then, I offered to whip up a logo for a photographer friend who was struggling to get something that worked for her style and so I told her I would mess around with some ideas for a bit to see what I came up with. Turns out, I was pretty dang successful and I was encouraged by some other friends to pursue it more. So, I'm hoping within the next two weeks to get my Etsy Logo Shop up and running. I'll be offering custom made logos, for whatever you might need, but I think they'll cater mostly to photographers or designers. It won't be too much of a burden for me because they are digital files that I can throw together and email or send a link to a client and I won't be overwhelmed by having to physically mail something. I'm really excited about this endeavor and I hope the word travels fast!

Once everything is officially up and running, I'll make sure to make an announcement about it, but until then, here's some of what you can look forward to!

twenty eighth.

first y'all. the weather today.

incredible. i must admit i got a little giddy when i saw storm clouds forming in the sky. i have an intense love of storms. like, it's almost weird. i want to go tornado chasing. as horrible as it is otherwise, i love love love the movie twister. i get hardcore sucked into severe weather documentaries on netflix. when a storm's a brewin' you'll find me outside waiting for it all to roll in.

tomorrow it's gonna storm and i'm pretty bummed that i work in an office that has zero windows. hopefully it will still be going by the time i get off of work.

secondly, i made one of the best homemade dinners evah tonight and it was so so easy. some of you are already asking for the recipe and no joke, you'll be so giddy to see that it's crazy easy.

i've got plenty of leftovers to get me through a few lunches, and i'm pretty stoked about it. i was pretty close to eating it all tonight.

Homemade chicken and dumplings:

First I baked two large chicken breasts in the oven at 450 for about 15 minutes or until done and juicy in the center. I seasoned them with garlic salt and black pepper and brushed them with olive oil.

For the dumplings it was 2 cups of bisquick mix and 2/3 cup of milk. I seasoned the dumplings as well with the garlic salt and black pepper and then I mixed it together until it got to a doughy consistency.

I brought 4 cups of swanson chicken broth to a boil and added 1 chopped carrot and 1/2 of a white onion chopped. I then took small spoonfuls of the dumpling mix and dropped it into the broth. They expand quite a bit so if they are too big, you can break it up with a fork or spoon. I then reduced the heat to a simmer and added my chicken. Cook uncovered for 10 minutes, and then covered for another 10 and voila. Super delicious chicken and dumplings.

I had some dough left so I just dropped it on to an ungreased baking sheet and baked the drop biscuits in the oven for about 8 minutes at 450.

Seriously, super easy, super hearty and super delicious! Enjoy!

twenty fifth, sixth and seventh.

Obviously we aren't too far into the year, but I'm noticing three main themes that are sticking out to me.

-storytelling, whether I'm telling stories or I'm hearing other stories being told
-finding beauty in simplicity
-loving life for what it is now and not worrying about the future

I want to dabble in each of those areas in this blog post, especially because I have three days of posting to catch up on.

First of all, this story. Grab tissues. But trust me, you won't regret watching this. This kind of story telling, this kind of art, this is what I want to do with my photography. This is just simply beautiful beyond words.

I guess all three themes could be wrapped up into this video. Jill's story really puts so much of what we might complain about into perspective. I love her ability to see past her own scars and see herself as beautiful. It's a lesson we could all learn for ourselves, both to look at our own bodies that way, and to look at others that way. How much more beautiful would the world be if we lived out loving and being judgment free to the fullest capability?

This just got me at my core and it just inspired me to seek out stories like this, people who have found the beauty of living regardless of their personal trials and tribulations, those are the stories that need to be told.

Today, I was cleaning house and had some incense burning and I stepped into the dining room, and hit the light just perfectly and saw the smoke just floating in the room. It was a split second I had to capture it, and it was tricky, but it was so beautiful. Sometimes we try to seek out beauty and sometimes it's just right in front of your nose.

And lastly, loving life for what it is...

Friday night I had a rough evening. I was bumming about life and feeling quite alone. I was in my pajamas and in bed my 9:30. I felt pretty pathetic.

Saturday morning I woke up and decided to push all that crappy crap aside and just push on with the day and enjoy it as much as possible, and it was a really wonderful day.

First I had the opportunity to have a second round of photographing one of the most beautiful babies I know. I met up with Gabe and Rachael and photographed little Aria and she is just a doll. I loved taking her pictures, but even more I enjoyed just loving on her and holding her while she slept. I look forward to the day that I get to snuggle my own, but getting to love on little Aria was pretty wonderful.

For more pictures go visit my photography blog. I'll be getting them up tonight.

Later in the day I went out and celebrated my friend Rachel's birthday with some margaritas and dancing. Two of my favorite things.

I have not laughed in so long. And today I hurt like no other. But boy was it worth it. I'm really enjoying soaking up these moments more and I'm looking forward to even more in the future. It's such good food for the soul to just let go and have as much fun as possible and these kids know how to have fun. Dance it out people. Just dance it out.

twenty fourth.

There's a wild thing in all of us.

I have a mini Max that hangs from my rearview mirror. He's there to remind me to be me. He's there to remind me that it's okay to be wild and free. He reminds me to stay inspired. Max was a kid with a wild imagination. He felt abandoned. He felt like he wasn't heard at times. But he conquered that and had wild adventures. He met the Wild Things. Each of them with unique personalities. Each of them with fears. Each of them with hopes of their own. And Max learned to embrace them all.

That's why Max hangs from my mirror. He's a reminder that it's in my best interest to embrace everyone.

These past couple of days on top of battling a dandy little stomach bug, I've been battling a serious insecurity. I'm battling the "not good enough to make it" monster regarding my photography business.

Don't get me wrong, I love what I do. But it's a challenge. It's a saturated market of people getting their hands on a camera and becoming professionals. I'm not one to discourage people if they find something that they love doing. But it's a competitive market. It's a back in forth battle in my head and it can get overwhelming at times. When my calendar isn't completely booked up or things are running slow...it gets tricky to not get down on myself. This is where I have to be Max. This is where I have to run amuck screaming "let the wild rumpus start"and just do my thing. It's where regardless of getting paid or not I grab my camera and conquer the world and love the heck out of it. Why? Because I flipping love being a photographer. Because when I finish taking pictures half of the excitement is going home and getting to share them all with you. Because when I drive around in my car and I see a sunset I get the urge to chase it, even if it takes me down a road that I'm unfamiliar with. Because when I see the world now, I see it differently. 

And that's how I battle that monster and win, because at the end of the day I'm doing something I love more than anything. And I believe in myself. And I know that my photography will take me far. 

Be Max. Lose your inhibitions. Love wildly. Make sacrifices for the sake of the thing you love the most. Embrace those around you for everything that they are. Conquer your fears and "let the wild rumpus start".

twenty third.

Sick day.

There's a good deed in my book that says "Play Hooky", but I don't think a stomach virus counts towards playing hooky.

Blerg.

Funny that in 2 weeks I'm eligible for paid time off. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to hustle somehow.

Or I could cheat and promote my business here. C'mon, help a sister out.

Spread the word for me...pretty please.

If you put a $75 deposit down on a 2013 session with Vintage Suitcase Photography, you'll receive $50 off your session fee. This Sunday at midnight is the cutoff time to book. The session can happen any time in 2013. Starting Monday regular session fees will apply. So share with your friends and family.

I had a pretty amazing 2012 and would love to repeat that in 2013.

You can see some of my work by visiting my website...clicky link up above....or visit my Facebook Page.

I would hate to have to resort to selling vacuums door to door or being one of those annoying telemarketers who calls you during family dinners...so let's keep it real and let's keep it fun and book a session with me. You won't regret it!

twenty second.

Today I'm going to share a story with you that is not mine. It's a story I heard today while listening to my Snap Judgment podcast at work. I love this podcast because each one revolves around a theme and within that segment there are multiple stories being told that revolve around that theme.

Today, while listening, I heard this one story and it brought me to tears. Yes, I was that teary eyed fool at her desk. But take a few minutes and listen. You won't regret it.

The Story of Xiao Xiao.

I was so moved by this story because it begins with one person's commitment to love and lengths to which they will go to stick with that commitment. It's a virtue that can be hard to come by these days.

It also just continued to stir up my desire to adopt someday. I've said before that I have a goal within the next 3-5 years that even if I am not remarried, I will begin to start a family. I know that it will be a lot of responsibility, but I have confidence in myself that I could be that mom that adopts a child and raises him or her to the best of my ability. Yes, it would be extra lovely to share this adventure with a husband, but I feel reassured that this desire wasn't put on my heart for nothing, and regardless of where my life might be, that can't prevent me from having that family. I'm also reassured that I have a wonderful community that would rally around me and do everything they could to support me in my endeavor. I am not afraid of what my future holds anymore, I have this commitment to love a child and I will see that through.

What's something that you are so committed to that you would do anything to stick with that commitment? Think of every day things that you can do, maybe small things, that in the long run could amount to something significant towards staying committed to your goal.

For me, it means setting aside some income for future costs and really examining my every day choices to see where my priorities are.

Love is a powerful thing and when we commit ourselves to loving, beautiful things can come out of it. Commit yourself to loving, even when it might not be easy, or even when it means taking risks or stepping out of your comfort zone. It will be worth it.

Twenty first.

This will be short, but hopefully sweet. Having fat thumbs doesn't bode well when trying to type a blogpost from your phone.

So many of you know that I love tattoos. I got hooked. Well I'm itching to get another one, but I'm proud of myself because I haven't gotten one in months now. That's a big deal for me.

But I'm getting another one in the next couple of months and it might just be my most favorite one yet.

When I got the phone call that my Papa had been diagnosed with cancer, my world stopped. I was driving and I can remember exactly where I was. I began to hyperventilate and I had to pull over on the side of the highway. My Papa is my teddy bear. He's one of the few male figures in my life that really makes me feel treasured. He's a gentle soul who loves his family with all of his heart. He'd give anything for any one of us and he has already sacrificed so much.

The thought of losing him shook my world to pieces.

Thankfully I can say that he is all finished with his chemo and he fought and overcame. He still has health issues that he struggles with from complications from treatments, but he is still in my life and for that I am ever thankful to God.

I knew I wanted to do something tattoo wise that would represent my relationship with my Papa. There have been numerous times where he pulls me in to his arms and hugs me so tight he's almost trembling and whispers in my ear, "you'll never know how precious you are to me".

Thinking about him saying it brings me to tears.

So I've decided to get those words tattooed across my forearm in his handwriting so I will always have him near me.

When I told him about it, he chuckled and said "my handwriting is not the prettiest."

That doesn't matter, Papa. It will still be beautiful.