I had a down moment earlier when I felt a little sting of pain thinking about how I have to start all over again. I have friends that are having babies and I wanted so badly to be at that point in my life by now. It hurts a little to have to push that aside for awhile. Dating? Blech. Thinking about the awkward first dates, the going back in forth in your head about every single little thing that happens...ew. It stresses me out.
Needless to say, it's kind of frustrating. But I can do one of two things...I can wallow in the sadness of what has happened and dwell in disappointment, or I can embrace what it is that is good in my life and go from there. I can imagine that I have the world at my fingertips and push through and experience new things, go new places, learn to love in new ways.
So I'm embracing the now. The now where I live in a great little neighborhood, the now where I have the freedom to leave my house on a whim and go photograph randomness around the city, the now where I can cook crazy dinners that I might end up being allergic to but I can cook them and not worry about picky little people refusing to eat dinner.
Someday I'll hear the little pitter patter of feet running into my bedroom to wake me up so we can snuggle on the couch and watch morning cartoons together. For now though, the only things waking me up are my alarm for work, my tiny bladder, or one of my cats meowing at my bedside for their breakfast.
Embrace the now.
Today's Happiness Project sentence:
Today I booked my first wedding of 2013. My dreams are coming true.
Today's One Good Deed:
Be happy for somebody and tell her.
Today a good friend told me that she was pregnant. And after my rough morning thinking about what could have been, the news could have been very hard to take. But I was seriously absolutely elated. I love seeing couples so in love and I love seeing families grow. Tis a beautiful beautiful thing. Plus it means another beautiful baby that I'll get to photograph eventually. ;)
2/365:
"Dance, when you're broken open. Dance, if you've torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you're perfectly free." -Rumi
sweet aud. beautifully said.
ReplyDeletethanks la! I'm living back in South City! I'd love to see you sometime. :) I hang out with Chey a lot more these days. I love your whooooole family.
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